An Existential Crisis

It’s been quiet here on the blog as I work the final edits for ‘The Blood of the Spear’, and lots of things have been going on in my (messy) mind.

I’m immensely proud of the work I have done on BotS. I am proud I have finished a novel, I am proud of the changes in both the manuscript and myself over the many, (many, many) years I have spent working on it.

But as I get closer to having the manuscript ready for submission to agents – or even to jump into the dangerous waters of Self-Publishing – I find that I doubt myself on several levels.

I am a fan of epic fantasy. EPIC fantasy. ‘The Wheel of Time’ set the benchmark for me. It has been the most significant influence on me as a writer. Now I wonder if it’s had too much of an impact.

There is also a concern that the market styles that formed my tastes in fantasy no-longer have a place in the modern market, much like trends in music and fashion change. But, at least in terms of this issue, I feel I must stay true to myself as I am writing what I want to read.


Thinking about the interviews of many authors when they talk about their early forays into writing fiction, you find a common theme where they acknowledge that their first novels were highly derivative, and usually trunked. Moving on they often found themselves working on entirely different books to what they had imagined they’d building a career with. So, I wonder if I should continue working on the world of the Eye of Eternity, or if it is too derivative and I should just trunk it and start something new?

Adding to all of this, I am finding myself somewhat bored with the fantasy on the market atm. Is it just me, and is this an indication that my tastes (and therefore style) are not in step with current trends? There is so much fantasy out there (most of it in the Self-Published realm), and yet I struggle to find the epic fantasy I want to read.

And so I am finding myself turning to science fiction in terms of what I am reading, and I have been building a world in which I might write stories.

I had always imagined building a career as a fantasy author and writing the next ‘Wheel of Time‘ (there are sooooooooo many authors out there who have thought the same), but I wonder, is it just that I wish I had written ‘The Wheel of Time‘? Is the ground I am walking so well-trodden that it holds nothing new and what I have written won’t make a splash when it’s thrown into the ocean that is the Fantasy Genre Market?

Maybe it’s time to explore new frontiers for myself?

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